You.. you.. i dont know what to say to you anymore!
I dont even know whether you are in town anymore or whether you will get this message also. What you did to me is the worst thing anyone can ever do to someone after saying that I was the best thing that ever happened to you. Why did you lie to me? Why? You dont know what you made me do.. you made me sin against you and against God. Im talkin about what we both did together.. it's biting me now that the curtains have raised and my eyes opened to the truth. Im told that you were engaged a looong time ago sometime during internship itself you knew, yet you made me do all that during those last few months we had together. How could you do that to me?Why did you have to lie to me? Why wouldnt you just tell me the truth? What was stopping you from being honest with me at the start itself? I asked you so many times about it and you denied everything. Then you told me that it was not finalized and then again you said it would be after residency and then again you said... crap after crap.. lie after lie.. no wonder you gave me all those notes and all to get xeroxed... I always wondered why would you go to such an extent even though I said that I didnt need your notes.. Now I can see that it was guilt. Well atleast you have a conscience. Thank God for that.
Lies after lies.. soo many lies and I kept believing everything you said to me because I thought whatever you said that you felt about me mattered more than anything else and that because we were together for 4-5 years, that I should do everything in my power to make it 40-50 years. That is the stupid reason why I said I wouldnt sit with you and study because my stupid naive mind thought that if I did my best to avoid seeing you for a few months.. that would push me and give me the drive to acheive greater things so that I could always have you beside me forever. Because I thought that what we had was real. Boy... was I wrong! You lied to me in the face and later on you told me one story after another. All those tears you shed when I said I couldnt see you for a few months... I still dont understand why would you do that when everything was done and dusted. The fact that I was being played for a fool by you after giving you my all ...everything I could ever muster from each and every cell of my being is hurting me a lot. But the saddest part is I still remember those moments when you told me how you felt about me and all this anger and rage disappears. Not to worry though, I have already moved on from self pity.
Now, Ill tell you why I wanted to meet you for one last time. Just to be clear I dont want to get involved in your mess anymore. Your parents know what is best for you and I respect their decisions whatever they decide because they know you better than I do.. which for reasons now I dont know whether I ever actually knew you. Anyways, I told you that such a day would come and you asked me for advice one day because you feared that your life would end up like your sibling's. And I told you that when the time came, you are supposed to tell your parents that you would first want to get settled in life before doing something like this. In my opinion, if you are not in residency before you get married and if you get married now itself, you will, invariably and without a shred of doubt, end up like your sibling. And I for one, because I know (or maybe I should now say that I assume that I knew you), you always wanted to avoid that and get that damn residency and make your parents proud. So if you would have followed my advice like u always did, you would remember this and done the needful. Because, trust me when I say this, your dream is as good as gone once you start your new life. And I want you to be an independant well settled person in life not depending on some random dude for survival. And you being happy and the smile on your face is the most important thing to me. No matter where you are. No matter what you are doing. No matter who you are.( idk re.even aftr everythin u did i still care.. i mean who says all this even aftr gettin betrayed.. does that show hw mch i still want your presence in my life as my own.. nah.. i dnt think im that great a person to still love those who hurt me the most. What am i in frnt of your family... nothing but some past memory now.)
Oh.. and dnt worry. Im not gonna ask u to return to me or talk to me. Im way past tat too aftr all that you did to me. You know things would have been much easier for me if you had kept me in the loop as and when things happened. I always cared and was curious to know what happened with you rather than what happened with some random chacha downstairs or some mami on the other side of the world somewhere. But wait.. u the selfish typz na.. i forgot.. it ws supposed to be easier for you rather than it being easy for me. And you said you had so many emotions and feelings for me. Haha.. dont worry im jokin about that last line about you being selfish.
Parting advice... Never ever lie to people u care about in life. When the truth is revealed, it hurts a lot. And the funny part about the truth is that it eventually comes out with a bang. But no hard feelings. I think I said whatever i had to say. If possible achieve your dream before takin the next step in life. Unachieved dreams will remain unachieved with the move you gonna make in life and i dnt wanna be a silent spectator when that happens. Im nt the type to celebrate someone's downfall no matter how much i have been betrayed and backstabbed by them. Think about it. Talk about it. Make a wise decision. I hope u can do that now atleast since you clearly never did before.
Take care and all the best for your future.
P.S. dont try to apologise or anything of the sort. Its too late now. If you would have.. for one in your life looked at what you did to me from my perspective you would understand what you did and would have apologised in the beginning itself. But you didnt and that's that.