Girl, Im sorry I slept with your dad. In my defense, I thought it was your brother. Too much gin, not enough juice
To His wife,
I apologize to my wife for not showering for 3 days. And for insisting it was ok as long as I changed my underwear.
I'd like to apologize for telling you your mother looked like Samuel L. Jackson during her intervention. It was unnecessary and over the line.
Sorry Cody I knew it was wrong but I saw your sandwich in the fridge and ate it, but that's not what I am apologizing for, actually I am apologizing for the mess I made in your bathroom after eating your sandwich. Sorry dude turkey fillet with blue cheese curdling in my stomach makes for a not so bathroom clean snack!
To The World,
..For being so awesome!
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